I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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