So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
