Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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