She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
