Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
