i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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