She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
