Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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