ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
