hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
