Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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