Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
