normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
