omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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