I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
