You're so nebulous sometimes
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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