your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
