to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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