So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
