I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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