Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Randomize
