? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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