I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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