I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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