the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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