Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
