No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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