Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
