Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
