Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
