thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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