Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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