Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Randomize
