She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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