...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
