I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Text me some of your sweat
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
