Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
