I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
