Who did Billy Mays play for?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
