i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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