i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
