I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
