Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
