I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
