the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
