I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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