I am spending my child support on dildos
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
