i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
