She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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