ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
