It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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